“Desperate”, a new book by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson is “hope for the mom who needs to breathe.”
The book is in the first week of it’s “launch” and it has already made the top 100 books in book sales at Amazon.com. It’s exciting to see a faith-based book aimed at encouraging moms doing so well in secular channels. The goal of the book is “no more desperate moms”. It’s meant to be uplifting for moms who need a little help. The book was written from the perspective of a mom (Sarah Mae) in the middle of the little years and the perspective of a mom (Sally) who has raised her children well.
My small group and I are planning to make this book our next study. To see a sample of the writing, here is an excerpt from the book.
Eight Ways to Nurture a Child’s Soul
I am nurturer of souls, and so are you.
We moms (and really, all people) have the opportunity to influence the souls of the children in our care. It can feel overwhelming, just thinking about what all that means, that we are capable of cultivating a whole life, beginning in the inner most parts of a being. It’s staggering, really, what we are capable of if we are intentional and loving.
In pondering the significance of my influence, and of your influence, I’d like to offer a eight ways you can nurture a child’s soul.
Be a Sorter of their Tangles
How tender is a young heart, and how easily wounds fester. I’m 32 and I wonder at the wounds in my own heart. I feel more untangled now than ever; freedom is all over me because I have understanding – I’ve lived and I’ve fought for freedom.
My little ones, they don’t understand the fullness of forgiveness and brokenness and pain and injustice. They haven’t lived enough. It’s confusing for them; they just know how they feel. I’m the sorter-outer.
We, us mamas and daddies, we’re the ones who have to keep at the sorting. We must keep on listening, really listening, discerning, and teaching our babes so they can be open to freedom. With compassion, patience, and time we give ourselves to the work of sorting the heart strings so one day they’ll be open to having them tied up new and beautiful.
Make them Feel Like the Most Important Person in the World
Our children, just like us, want to be known. They want to be respected. They want to know they matter more than anyone else, because they are ours.
Take the time every now and then to give them your full attention. Give them your arms to lean into. Give them your eyes and your smile. Make them feel like the most important person in the world.
Because in this moment, they are.
…Let Them Know Shame is Not Invited into Your Family
Let your children know that you will never discipline them for telling you something they need to be free of. Let them know whatever it is, whatever yuck has happened, whatever to anything, that they can trust you. Let them know you are there for them, and you’re on their team. And mean it.
Because shame says, “They’ll be mad at you, and they’ll blame you, and you are ugly and bad and it’s all your fault anyway.”
Shame is a liar when you know the truth – the truth that you are not your mess or anyone else’s. The truth that you can be free. Let your children be free to be honest with you, and make sure they know they have your open arms.
Show Them That You Begin Again
We all botch up, everyday, but we don’t have to stay there in the mess. Sure, we can, if we choose to stay hardened, to not apologize, to not accept grace.
But we also have the choice to lay ourselves low. We can feel sorrow and we can get up from the muck. We can enter into real love when we break before others and allow ourselves to be healed; they see the mending and the scars, but they forgive us, as we forgive them.
This is grace and freedom. And with grace and freedom there is no room for tension – the painful, ugly tension that strangles a soul.
You can choose to begin again. Every day is new.
You can read the entire excerpt here: I am a nurturer of souls.
There are so many wonderful tools out there to uplift and encourage mommies in their mommy-hood. This is just one blog post of what I hope will be many on the topic of encouraging and uplifting moms.
Praying you are blessed.
In His Grip,
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